the art of unfolding
the art of celebrating (one year since my book release!)
It’s been one year to the day that I released my book, “The Unfolding” into the world.
I honestly remember the months leading up to this time last year, I was so anxious for the perceptions that would come from what I spilled into these pages. So afraid my life would change tremendously though it didn’t really change much at all. So terrified of how it would be perceived and what people would think of it. I think that’s what happens when you hold something precious and yet so necessary closely. But here we are, it’s been one year of unfolding and I have continuously done so. It definitely didn’t end with writing the book, in fact it probably really truly began at that point. Hence, why I shared that my next spoken word album that I hope to drop this year is titled “the art of unfolding” because it doesn’t stop. As long as we are alive, breathing and living each day then there is permission and room to grow, change, evolve. Nature does it, so can we.
Cicely Tyson shared in her autobiographical book,
“To examine, to question, to discover and evolve that is what it means to be alive. The day we cease to explore is the day we begin to wilt”
This has stuck with me since I heard it because even though I wrote a whole book that I hope serves as a permission slip, I am still needing one for myself. Everyday, an active, authentic choice to choose living fully, freely and more whole and everyday that includes shedding but I hope it doesn’t become wilting until it is absolutely necessary.
One of my biggest inspirations during the writing process was listening to this song on repeat. (It still makes me cry) I had already written the title of the book “The Unfolding” in my notes months before and then a friend shared this song with me and it left me speechless and yet so purposely aligned. The words were there, they were coming, I just had to allow myself to release the fear from speaking them out loud.
As much as it pains my enneagram four, double libra self to say…nothing in art or creativity is really truly original, it is all cut from the same cloth, the same desire to be human and whole with all its variations. First hearing the song that was also titled unfolding, and in the year of my release, so many other beautiful, healing, permission slip pieces of works were also released like A Renaissance of our own A MEMOIR & MANIFESTO ON REIMAGINING by Rachel E. Cargle which was so so good. After finishing my own unfolding book, I had just devoured Untamed by Glennon Doyle and so many more works that were necessary permission slips and I am honored to have something to add to the cannon.
Releasing a book into the world is still a very strange experience, even though I have written two self published poetry works before this, this process under a publisher was obviously very different and being where I am in my career, a lot more exposing. I remember after submitting my final draft thinking to myself, we don’t have to publish it, this can just live right here in my google drive. But a las, that is not why I truly birthed it, to be hoarded, I birthed it to be shared.
I don’t know if I post about my book as much as I “should” I have. I honestly even a year later, still have. a littleeee bit of insecurity around posting “too much“ about it, fearful that I am incessantly tooting my own horn or annoying people with the same ol topic ( I know, I know I am an actively recovering people pleaser okay).
Maya Angelou shared once in an interview,
“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’ “
I am constantly in fear that I’ll be “found out”. That maybe I’m not as talented as I think I am, or that others will see something and think that I’m not as faith filled as I “should” be or insert a whole list of other insecurities around being “found out”. However I could not let a whole year pass of this piece of work living in the world without celebrating, honoring, pausing for the labor that has taken and honestly is continuing to take place, I won’t let imposter syndrome take that from me.
In his podcast, Rob Bell, a speaker, teacher, podcaster and former pastor talks about how people will bring up his old works, books, talks, etc and ask what he thinks about them present day as his thoughts and beliefs have changed and shifted. He gave a grace-filled answer that I extend to myself often, “Oh those? that was so eight Robs ago.” permission.
I thought that if I put this book out, then my thoughts in it had to also live in permanence but as life moves on and people continue to live and grow and expand, I realize that’s just not possible. Even a year ago as I sat in interviews and podcasts about the book, I giggled often to myself because I was answering questions that my old self was asking and that is quite the experience to have. I thought if I wrote this book and put it out there then that means all of it has to be true, ring true to me a year…two years later and though a lot of it still does, a lot of it is also now “two Arielle’s ago” and a whole new slew of unfolding has taken place in beautiful, profound and expansive ways. I regret none of it and embrace all of it.
This is one of the things I add to my list of things I’m most proud of not for the sheer accomplishment of publishing a book (though that is a big part of it) but just the accomplishment of being honest, being authentic and choosing to be brave with the rawest parts of me and my story to date. I regret none of it, I embrace and celebrate all of it.
Well if you haven’t yet gotten a copy of my book, then I hope you celebrate it’s 1 year released birthday with me and purchase a copy or two from your local book store if you can.
It’s also available on audiobook. I hope it serves as a permission slip for whatever unfolding you’re needing these days and I hope it is your key, your invitation back home to your beautiful self.
